


Cheshire Cat

by MysticMedusa



Series: We're All Mad Here [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Tony Stark, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 07:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11939517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMedusa/pseuds/MysticMedusa
Summary: Tony Stark may or may not have been tricked by an evil cat and may or may not be held hostage by a tree. These things are unconfirmed. what has been confirmed is that the man possibly there to save him is sexy as hell.





	Cheshire Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Don't take this story seriously, it's all crack. Enjoy :)

Tony totally wasn’t to blame for this situation and anyone who said otherwise was a lying liar who lied. So yes he was stuck in a tree but again, totally not his fault. It wasn’t his fault he had a weakness for adorable kittens and their even more adorable little meows. He really wanted to blame the little adorable bastard that had happily jumped down after he was already in the tree and trapped but he couldn’t because kittens were precious and blameless. He would however blame all the asshole people that had just ignored the kitten and now just ignored the fact that a middle aged man was trapped in the tree. He swore just the fact a kitten had been trapped in a tree should have attracted America’s golden boy to save the tiny adorable animal. Still he was trapped and he swore he couldn’t understand how the media hadn’t found out about it yet. He could just imagine the headlines ‘Tony Stark, famous hero and playboy done in by both nature and harmless animal’. Seriously he almost wanted to think Loki was behind this because of how absurd it was. Famous Iron Man trapped in a tree. Fallen for the trick of an adorable but not helpless kitten and the evil tree that now held him hostage. He wouldn’t give Loki credit for this. If anyone was to blame it was that bitch Mother Nature. She made this tree look deceiving so he thought he could easily climb it and manage to get down.

“Are you stuck up there?”

He looked down to see a very attractive man with long shaggy brown hair and the most gorgeous blue gray eyes. If there was such a thing as love at first sight Tony was pretty sure he’d just experienced it.

“Well most would tell you yes but you see what had happened was, there was a kitten that was just super adorable. So being the superhero I am I came up to save it and then the kitten decided I was too sexy for him to be saved by and in his embarrassment fainted but you know cats, they always land on their feet so he’s now safely elsewhere away from my far too much sexiness.”

The man looked at him in disbelief while Tony carefully went from gripping the tree branch in full panic mode to lounging in a way that was just a hint of sexiness.

“And so I figured if that adorable kitten got someone as sexy as me, what kind of godly handsome figure would save me. So here we are, a man of unbelievable sexiness here to possible come carry me aka a man of Prince Charming caliber beauty out of a tree.”

The man allowed a small smile and shook his head.

“Really? That’s the story you’re going with?”

“Yes but if you need another I could totally come up with one. I mean seriously you are hot as hell. You actually look like a bit like an actor I’m fond of. He played the Mad Hatter in Once Upon a Time. What do you say Mad Hatter? I’ll be the Cheshire Cat?”

The man looked at him a moment before he smiled and held out his arms ready to catch him.

“Whatever you say Cheshire. You’re lucky I like cats.”

Tony grinned wide and slightly crazy like the Cheshire Cat.

“Meow.” And then he was jumping into the man’s arms.

The man easily caught him. Tony wondered if this guy was actually interested because if he could effortlessly catch him then maybe he could fuck him up against the wall. God that would be sexy as hell.

“So now that I’ve saved the sexy kitten from the horrible evil tree that was holding him hostage, do I get a date?”

“Yes, yes you do. You also get fun sexy times to if you want. I swear the tree was working with the kitten at the command of Mother Nature. I was doomed to fall for such a trick seeing as I’m a good little hero.”

The man chuckled.

“Sure thing. So what’s your name Cheshire?”

“I’m Tony, what’s your name Mad Hatter?”

“Name’s Bucky. I want that date but only if I can carry you home. You’re kind of cute.”

Tony grinned.

“Oh darling you can carry me everywhere. My place is nearby, big building with an A on the side. You can’t miss it. I know this for a fact because even a blind guy found it last week. Ran right into the building. I didn’t laugh but Clint did because he’s a soulless bastard and a child I mean like a total giant man child.”

“Oh? Is this Clint someone I have to fight for your heart for?”

“Hey we agreed you’re the Mad Hatter, not the Queen of Hearts. Though you’ve already stolen mine so maybe.” He winked at Bucky who blushed slightly.

“I think only you are cute enough to be a queen Tony.”

Tony placed a hand over his heart and pretended to swoon in the man’s arms.

“Oh you flirt; I already said you had my heart. I swear you’re just trying to kill me with all this charm of yours.”

“Can’t have you dying on me yet cutie. I still need that date and sexy times.”

Bucky didn’t put him down when he arrived at Stark Tower aka Avengers Tower but only because the last time Tony tried to fix the name on the side of the building Natasha had decided to show off she could flip Steve with her thighs and gave Tony a pointed look. Any woman capable of throwing the good captain around was not someone Tony wanted to fuck with. He valued his life and he wouldn’t lose it over a stupid name on his building.

So he got a free ride up to the common floor by the sexiest man on the planet. Totally a win for him and he might decide never to walk anywhere again if the guy stuck around.

When the elevator opened up to the whole team gathered and getting ready for a movie Tony swore to every god he knew(Loki included because vengeance totally needed that chaotic god involved) that if they ruined this for him he’d have their heads on a silver platter or worse, he’d kick them out the window. That he was totally certain Loki would help him with, he loved windows and putting people through them. Villain or not he wouldn’t pass up the chance to at least put Thor through a window.

“Meow.” Tony greeted at the shocked faces.

“Bucky? Tony you found Bucky?”

Tony looked up at the suddenly blank face of Bucky and realized that yes; this was Hydra’s assassin Bucky Barnes aka the Winter Soldier. Well wasn’t he a lucky bastard.

“I totally should have realized that. Why the hell did Hydra use you as a sniper, you could be killing all the fellas with your charm.”

Bucky looked at him surprised.

“You don’t care I was an assassin?”

“Hell no Mad Hatter, now onward my valiant steed. I require a shower and much fancier clothing if I’m taking you out on a date.”

Bucky smirked.

“Whatever kitten.”

“Bucky wait, where have you been? I was looking everywhere for you.”

“Rogers so help me if you ruin this for me I will kick you through a window. Super soldier or not you will go splat on the side walk. Bucky is super sexy and I’m totally going to hit that. I haven’t even seen his butt yet and I’m head over heels. It’s a match made in Heaven, he saved me from an evil tree today.”

“It’s true, it was holding him hostage and he was too adorable to leave.”

“My friend, is this true? I shall smite the evil villainous tree that dared attempt to capture you.” Thor’s voice boomed as he called for his hammer to defend Tony’s honor or whatever space Vikings did.

“It was the really big tree in central park big guy. You go out there and defend my honor. I will buy you a roomful of poptarts for defeating the evil tree.”

Thor flew off even though Steve tried to stop him. Tony couldn’t wait to see the headlines there. ‘Thor, god of thunder smites a tree’ it would be just perfect.

“Tony you can’t just take Bucky out with you. We should make sure he’s ok first.”

Tony looked up at Bucky with big pleading brown eyes that had the assassin weak in the knees.

“You’re ok right?”

Bucky adjusted his hold on Tony so he had his legs wrapped around his waist now instead of being held bridal style.

“What do you think my little Cheshire Cat?”

Oh he could totally feel how ok Bucky was and he made a sound not unlike a very happy cat.

“Fuck the date right now, bedroom now. Kitten needs to show you his claws. All over your back while you fuck me through the wall.”

“Dude, TMI.” Clint groaned.

“But-”

“Steve just let them go. Clearly he’s fine.” Natasha lectured before she winked at Tony.

Maybe the widow wasn’t completely frightening. Bucky quickly turned back to the elevator and the moment the doors were closed he had his way with Tony. So whoever was to blame for him being stuck in a tree totally deserved a gift basket or something. And seeing as he didn’t know Mother Nature’s address only Loki got a thank you gift regardless if he was involved or not. Said god just stared at the basket full of expensive wines, expensive imported chocolate, and roses confused and was even more confused by the card that simply read: thank you for all your mischief. Confused as all hell he simply bit into the chocolate and moaned at the taste. He may or may not attempt to court the mortal if this was how he thanked people for anything. He would guarantee courting the mortal after he found Thor on his doorstep attempting to give the trickster god all his worldly possession because he thought he was dying. Thor had never gotten sick before and after having eaten an entire room full of pop tarts in a single sitting the god was puking everywhere and certain he had but hours to live. It was like every holiday and his birthday wrapped up in the perfect gift.

 

**Author's Note:**

> P.S I am open to doing a sequel with Loki attempting to court Tony. If popular demand asks for a sequel there will be one


End file.
